


Let me tell you a story about war

by softiejace



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Canonical Minor Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry Harry one day I'll give you a speaking role, M/M, Mentioned Harry Potter, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Second War with Voldemort, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Trauma and Healing, also need i say it: f jkr all my homies hate jkr, but take it with a generous grain of salt as i don't have personal experience with ptsd, give sirius black proper therapy sessions i beg you, im just filling in the blanks, post lie low at lupin's/early OOTP era, remus "i will take care of you whether you want it or not" lupin, sirius "sex is a valid coping mechanism" black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiejace/pseuds/softiejace
Summary: When Molly Weasley's boggart took the form of a dead Harry, Sirius was rather affected. Luckily, Remus was there.Excerpt:"Can you stand?" Remus asked after a few minutes of waiting for Sirius' heartbeat and breath to even out."Think so," Sirius murmured, without lifting his head."Come on then," Remus gripped him under the armpits. "I want to get you off this cold floor.""'I want to get you off' is a complete sentence," Sirius said into his ear, still leaning on him as Remus pulled him up to a stand, though it seemed to be less for support now than so that he could push his hands under Remus' shirt.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 122





	Let me tell you a story about war

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a few days after "A trail away from doom" (https://archiveofourown.org/works/26512525) and will make more sense if you've read that one first, but can be read as a standalone. 
> 
> content warnings for description of vomiting, ptsd/panic attack, references to past childhood abuse and death. 
> 
> Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t. Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die. Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.  
> \- Richard Siken

Remus had not expected the evening to end with Molly Weasley sobbing on his shoulder, nor had he been prepared for the sight of Harry sprawled out on the ground, apparently dead. Luckily, he had recognised the boggart immediately.

When Molly had calmed enough to let go of him, Alastor had helped her into a chair where she sat now, recovering from her shock and wiping her face with a handkerchief.

The strain of preparing for war was getting to all of them; he just had not expected her to be the first one to snap under the pressure. But perhaps it was natural - she did have much to lose, and in spite of what he had just said to console her, Remus did not think it was silly of her to worry about that. He'd been in the Order the first time around just as she had; they both knew first-hand what the chances were. They'd lost over a dozen members during those four years, the last two being Lily and James…

At this thought, Remus turned to face Sirius. He had just told Molly not to worry about Percy as he would surely come around.

But he wasn't standing in the door anymore. Neither was Harry. 

Sirius must have gone with him for a chat. Remus felt a stirring of jealousy. He did not regret teaching at Hogwarts, not least because it had brought him into contact with the boy again. But sometimes he thought that it was precisely his past position of Harry's teacher that now kept them at a certain distance, whereas Sirius, despite having spent less time with him, seemed to have a closer connection with him simply by virtue of being his godfather...

Remus shook his head slightly. It wasn't right of him to begrudge Sirius this closeness after everything that had happened. Maybe if things had gone a different way, Remus would have had the same relationship with Harry now - he had at one point been a welcome houseguest at the Potters'... 

But he knew better than to let himself dwell on those what-ifs; the memory of why he had not been able to maintain contact with Harry throughout his childhood was painful enough.

Remus could feel Alastor's magical eye on him while the auror was awkwardly patting Molly's shoulder.

Seeing that she had regained her composure, and with the thought that Sirius might need some comfort after having seen his godson dead, Remus excused himself. 

He was planning to wait for Sirius in his bedroom. They had been sharing a bed for the past few nights, ever since Remus had broken Sirius' house arrest to take him on a night-time walk which had culminated in their first kiss in fourteen years, in the dark of a dead-end alley.

But passing the bathroom on the second floor landing, he caught a glimpse of a slumped figure.

For a second, Remus thought absurdly of another boggart; then he remembered that boggarts for him had always taken the shape of the full moon.

The figure convulsed and Remus rushed forward into the dimly lit bathroom.

Sirius was hunched over the toilet bowl, retching so violently that his slim frame spasmed with it.

Heart pounding, Remus sank to his knees next to him.

"Oh, Sirius."

He reached out to hold Sirius' hair back from his face, but the other man seemed to flinch away from his touch.

"Don't," he spat, still heaving, his knuckles shining white through his skin where his hands were clenched around the toilet seat.

Remus drew his hands back and folded them in his lap. He ached to rub Sirius' back soothingly, but could only watch helplessly as Sirius continued to gag. At least he didn't seem to be spitting up any food rather than just dry heaving.

Slowly the convulsions subsided and Sirius sank back onto his heels, swaying dangerously.

"Can I touch you now?" Remus whispered, his hands hovering.

Sirius nodded weakly and allowed Remus to manoeuvre him gently so that he was sitting with his back against the claw-footed bathtub. He kept his eyes closed as he tilted his head back against the edge of the tub, his brows deeply furrowed.

Remus hesitated to wrap his arm around Sirius to stop him shaking, unsure how much physical contact he could stand right now.

"Well, this brings me back," Sirius said after a moment, his voice hoarse and tinged with bitterness, "to when I got into my father's liquor cabinet at fifteen, drained two whole bottles of his best wine, and then proceeded to throw it all up right in here. Earned me a Cruciatus - which did not help with the throwing up, mind - and a month without dinners."

Remus swallowed, feeling his nails dig into his skin as he balled his hands into fists. Sirius had occasionally alluded to his parents' cruel child-rearing methods over the years, eventually confiding more details to Remus when they had grown closer in sixth year. 

He hadn't mentioned it again since they had been reunited, but Remus had seen what being in the house did to him.

"Sirius," he muttered.

"I'm alright," Sirius said automatically. But he was still shivering slightly and his hair was sticking to his face with cold sweat.

Remus held back a disbelieving huff and stood up from the cold tiles, lighting his wand. Sirius blinked up at him as he rummaged through the cupboard, producing a rag that looked relatively clean, if rather dusty. He cast _Scourgify_ on it to make sure before he turned the tab of the bath and held it under the warm stream.

"Going to give me a bath?" asked Sirius, sounding in equal measure bemused and tired.

"No," Remus said, turning off the water and kneeling down in front of him. "But I am going to wash your face," he explained calmly. "If that's alright?"

Sirius waved his hand indifferently. "Have at it."

Remus ran the wet rag gently along the curves of Sirius' cheeks before smoothing back his hair to dab his forehead. Finally, he wiped down Sirius' neck, stopping at his collar.

Sirius let out a sigh, dropping his head onto Remus' shoulder. Remus flung the rag into the tub and placed his hand carefully on the back of Sirius' head, and when Sirius leaned more heavily against him, he began to rake his fingers gently through his hair.

With his other hand, he fumbled for his wand and cast a wordless warming spell that made Sirius' trembling let up. Then, setting his wand aside, he wrapped his fingers around Sirius' wrist to feel his pulse. Sirius sat limply, letting it happen.

"Can you stand?" Remus asked after a few minutes of waiting for Sirius' heartbeat and breath to even out.

"Think so," Sirius murmured without lifting his head.

"Come on then," Remus gripped him under the armpits. "I want to get you off this cold floor."

"'I want to get you off' is a complete sentence," Sirius said into his ear, still leaning on him as Remus pulled him up to a stand, though it seemed to be less for support now than so that he could push his hands under Remus' shirt.

Remus shuddered at the icy cold of his skin.

"None of that," he said firmly, tugging Sirius' hands out and holding onto them. "I really think we should talk."

Sirius groaned but did not argue as Remus led the way to his bedroom.

"Get in," he ordered, gesturing towards the bed, only to roll his eyes at Sirius' feeble grin. "I don't want you to catch a cold."

"Remus, you know you could get me into bed without excuses," Sirius remarked, but he undressed heavy-handedly down to a t-shirt and underwear before crawling under the covers.

Remus turned his back to him, lighting a few candles with his wand.

"Would you like a cuppa?"

Sirius sighed. "Not enough to warrant you leaving the room."

Remus felt a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. 

"Alright," he said warmly, pulling off his own trousers and shirt to get comfortable on the bed next to Sirius, who eyed him skeptically.

"Am I allowed to touch you now or will you slap my hands away?"

Remus only opened his arms in response and Sirius immediately draped himself halfway across him, one leg wedged between the two of his and his head resting on Remus' shoulder once more.

They had slept in a similar position the previous nights, although they had not rarely woken up in a spooning position which had led to some rather enjoyable morning sex. Clumsy though it was with neither of them having had much practise in the last dozen years, Remus certainly had no complaints to make.

Sirius' mind seemed to be on the same page. He nuzzled Remus' neck, smoothing his hand over his hipbone.

"Sure I can't convince you -" he started, but Remus caught his hand before it could travel further.

"Not before we've talked about - about what just happened."

He remembered all too well the days when they had attempted to fuck away their worries and problems, and he was not keen on repeating that. It had never served them well beyond providing a temporary physical relief. Of course, it was possible Sirius did not remember...

"So now you're bribing me with sex as a reward?"

Remus pursed his lips. "Well, when you put it like that…"

Sirius pushed himself up just enough to meet Remus' gaze and narrowed his eyes. "You are a cruel, cruel man, Remus Lupin."

Remus smiled indulgently at him and gave a small shrug. 

"Suit yourself."

Sirius huffed a breath and disentangled himself from Remus, moving to sit up against the headboard, the duvet drawn up around him. His face had taken on a gloomy expression.

Remus pushed himself up into a seat, resting his chin on his knee. Sirius had just had to see what he must have assumed at first glance to be his godson's dead body. Remus himself felt a little shaken, although he had realised in an instant that the dead boy was a boggart.

"He'll be alright, you know," he said softly when Sirius only continued to stare ahead of himself. "He's safe at Hogwarts."

Sirius looked over at him and snorted incredulously. "We thought that last year, didn't we? But look what happened - what he's been put through. And then dementors near his aunt and uncle's house this summer…"'

Remus had to concede that. "Yes, but Dumbledore's on guard now. He'll be keeping more than one eye on Harry this year."

"Since when are you such a fan of Dumbledore?" Sirius asked sardonically. "Weren't you cursing him just the other day?"

Remus picked some lint off the duvet. "Well, yes. I don't think he always makes the best decisions for everyone's well-being. But he's going to keep Harry _alive._ We can trust him to do that much. We have to. Because not everything is within our control."

Sirius let out a heavy breath. "I suppose…"

Remus was rather surprised that he relented so easily. 

"Of course, it's not entirely unreasonable to worry about losing people," he added. "We'll just have to do our best to keep each other safe and have faith that everyone else in the Order is committed to the same task. Besides, Harry's a clever boy, and he's got friends looking out for him too."

He paused, observing Sirius closely, but unable to decipher his expression. He looked somehow very far away.

"Still, it wasn't easy to see that, I know," Remus said gingerly.

"You don't," Sirius said - so quietly that Remus could barely make out the words. He frowned.

"What do you -"

"You don't know," Sirius repeated, staring down at his hands. "I've never told you."

He drew in a shaky breath and glanced up at Remus, his eyes clouded.

"About that day... when I found them."

Remus' breath faltered.

He knew, of course, that Sirius had arrived at the scene that night to come across Hagrid carrying Harry, that he had then proceeded to go after Peter before being caught seemingly in the act and delivered immediately to Azkaban.

But before now, he could not say for certain that he had ever really thought about Sirius entering the house to find…

"No." He swallowed and cleared his throat. "You haven't. There wasn't really… time."

"Yeah," Sirius said. "Well."

He was sitting uncharacteristically still, which was more worrying to Remus than if he had been bouncing off the walls. Remus waited with baited breath.

Sirius said, "he looked exactly like that."

Remus closed his eyes for a second, the image of the boggart appearing in front of his inner eye immediately, Harry morphing into James. It did not take much - he would have been just a little bit taller, his unseeing eyes hazel instead of green…

He opened his eyes.

Sirius' hands were clenched into fists around the flowery duvet cover.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

Sirius shook his head, evidently finding it difficult to speak but impossible to stop.

"He was just lying there in the corridor, on his face - I… I had to turn him over to make sure it was really… He didn't even have his wand on him." He broke off, taking a laboured breath.

Remus inched closer, offering his hand to Sirius who stared at it for a second before clutching it with the both of his.

His grip was hard enough to bruise.

"And upstairs… Lily... she'd collapsed in the nursery, trying to shield Harry... The front of the first floor had burst open, and there was a horrible lot of rubble, some of it covering her -- covering her body… I almost didn't see the cot."

Remus felt a sob wrench its way out of his throat. His eyes burned, and he squeezed Sirius' hand back.

He almost wished Sirius would stop talking. He'd spent enough sleepless nights tortured with the knowledge of their death, feeling as though his chest had been cracked open and his heart torn out - by the very man at his side.

But Sirius had been confronted with the memory more or less non-stop for twelve consecutive years, with no way to distract himself, and as opposed to Remus _he had seen their bodies._ And he had never had anyone to talk to about it. 

"Of course Harry wasn't there anymore - Hagrid had got him - and he wouldn't give him to me, not even when I told him I was his godfather - Dumbledore's orders, he said -"

Remus found it difficult to suppress a new wave of anger at Dumbledore rising within him. If only Hagrid had given Harry to Sirius, he wouldn't have gone after Peter… he would've gone straight back to their flat… they could've raised Harry together… Sirius would never have gone to Azkaban...

He let out a strangled sob, pressing his free hand against his mouth.

There was no point in agonising over things that had happened. 

And yet…

Suddenly, Sirius tugged him into an almost abrasive hug. Remus gasped in a breath, pressing his face into Sirius' neck and winding his arms around him.

It felt much like their hug back in the shrieking shack a year and some months ago, only now Remus knew that Sirius loved him, and that they had each other, indefinitely, not to be parted again. Remus would not allow it.

In the midst of his grief and commiseration, he became aware that he had neglected to tell Sirius as much since they had been reunited. He had already been asleep when Remus had confessed it to him that night after their kiss, and though Remus had shown it in his actions, he hadn't actually taken the time to say it yet.

"Sirius," he croaked out.

Sirius loosened his grip a little bit, just enough for Remus to pull away and look into his eyes.

Remus put his hand to Sirius' cheek. His face was wet once more, this time with hot tears rather than cold sweat, and Remus wiped one of them away with his thumb.

Sirius held his gaze with an open expression, allowing Remus to see his grief like a festering sore that had been plaguing him for over a decade. 

"I love you," Remus said firmly. 

Sirius' eyelids fluttered and he let out a shivering breath.

"Remus."

"You don't have to say -" he started, but Sirius cut him off with a dry kiss. His chapped lips caught on Remus' mouth; he drew away before Remus could determine whether he tasted like bile.

"You are everything," he said simply. "You and Harry. Everything I have left to care about."

* * *

They must have fallen asleep at some point, because Remus woke to the early morning light falling in through the window and a gentle knock on the door. He only had time to raise his head from the pillow before Molly stuck hers through the door.

“Remus, I’ve got your -”

She broke off, her eyes trailing from Remus’ bedhead to Sirius who was curled up against his side, fast asleep.

Her eyes widened by a fraction, mouth forming an O.

Then she caught herself, blinking, and looked back at Remus.

Remus willed himself not to blush. He was a grown man, he was not doing anything wrong, and he had nothing to be embarrassed about. Neither of them were even shirtless.

Molly, whose face had taken on a similar colour as her hair, held up the stack of folded laundry she was carrying, before sending it across the room to land on his suitcase.

Remus gave her a grateful smile. 

With another bashful glance at Sirius, Molly mouthed “Breakfast” at Remus, who nodded.

She shut the door behind herself and Remus sank back into the pillows.

Well. That was that.

He allowed himself to remain in bed for five more minutes which he spent watching Sirius sleep, his dark hair fanned out across his face and his chest moving steadily with his breath.

His head felt a little heavy with the emotional hangover from last night, but his heart felt oddly light - relieved of some of the unspoken weight he'd been carrying. He wondered if Sirius felt the same.

Then he stretched and pressed himself up against Sirius’ sleep-warm body, nosing at his hair and peppering kisses across his exposed shoulder and along the line of his neck up to his face.

Sirius stirred when Remus reached his temple, turning and grabbling blindly for Remus’ shirt to pull him closer. 

Remus smiled, kissing his forehead. 

“Good morning,” he murmured hoarsely.

Sirius made a non-committal noise, his eyes still closed, and buried his face in Remus’ neck. 

“Too early,” he grunted.

Remus ran his hands tenderly up and down his back, feeling the bumps of his spine through the soft fabric. 

More than any other time of day, he felt that he treasured these early morning moments when he had Sirius all to himself, before the strain and tribulations of life at No. 12 Grimmauld Place could settle in. 

When his hands strayed past the waistband of Sirius’ underwear, Sirius stiffened and then pressed closer.

“Unless you’re willing to make good on your promise from last night,” Sirius purred, nibbling at Remus’ throat.

Remus found it very hard indeed to pull away from Sirius’ enticing embrace.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to stave you off a little bit longer,” he said regretfully. “We’d better get up if we want to say goodbye to Harry and the lot before they leave for the train.”

Sirius let out a longsuffering sigh and crawled up to rest his arms on top of Remus’ shoulders and frown at him.

“You couldn’t have woken me a few minutes earlier then?”

Remus smiled. “I thought it was ‘too early’? Besides, I spared you the embarrassment of facing Molly.”

Sirius’ eyes widened not unlike hers had minutes before.

“What?” he asked, sounding slightly alarmed.

Remus chuckled. “She came to drop off some freshly laundered robes. Evidently, she was not expecting to see you in my bed.”

Sirius flushed a dusky pink colour which suited his complexion very well. 

“Oh… So… I suppose if we take too long to get downstairs now, she’ll think...”

“Yep,” Remus confirmed.

Sirius sighed again and pushed himself up into a seat. 

“Fine. I should probably go and brush my teeth anyway, considering…” He trailed off and leaned over the edge of the bed to grab his clothes.

“Good boy,” Remus said, just to make Sirius drop the trousers he had just picked up.

He got out of bed, biting back a grin as he put on one of the robes Molly had brought and quickly ran a comb through his hair. 

“You know we might even have the house to ourselves later,” he remarked, winking at Sirius before he strode out of the room. 

* * *

Molly was already bustling around the kitchen, but no one else seemed to be up yet. She startled when Remus entered, looking a little flustered and not quite meeting his eyes.

“Oh, Remus. Sorry, I hadn’t expected you down here so quickly - I haven’t even put on the kettle yet, silly me -”

“It’s quite alright, Molly,” Remus said calmly. “I’ll make tea then, shall I?”

“Oh, would you? Thanks, dear.”

He filled the kettle with water and hung it over the fireplace, waving his wand to fan the flames.

Molly had begun to prepare sandwiches, presumably for her children as well as Harry and Hermione to take on the train. 

After making sure the flames were the right height, Remus joined her at the counter, picking up a knife. She smiled gratefully, passing on slices of bread for him to butter.

Her red-rimmed eyes reminded Remus that Sirius had not been the only one affected by the boggart last night. He wondered whether and how to broach the subject, but then Molly cleared her throat and said in a poor attempt at nonchalance, “So. You two…”

“Yes,” Remus confirmed, now putting slices of ham on the bread.

“Ah.” 

Molly flinched terribly at the whistle of the kettle and hurried over to remove it from the fire. Remus gathered cups and tea bags in time for her return. 

“And how long have you…” Molly started, pouring hot water in each of the cups. 

“A few days now,” Remus said, surprising himself. It didn’t seem accurate; he felt like it should’ve been much longer. Hadn’t they been together for nearly twenty years at this point, only disrupted by a long, involuntary break?

Molly’s “oh” sounded surprised as well, but she seemed to catch on quickly.

“And back then, were you…?”

Remus nodded again.

“You didn’t know?” he asked softly, watching her cut the sandwiches Remus had assembled into neat triangles. 

Sirius and he had never announced their relationship to anyone outside of their close friends. It wasn’t the sort of the thing you wanted to flaunt in the late 70s, but he was sure that anyone paying attention would have caught on. Dumbledore had known for sure. And Remus doubted that McGonagall, for all the times she had warned him to pay attention in class when he had been staring at Sirius instead (and the handful of times she had been unfortunate enough to walk in on them snogging in an empty classroom), could have missed it. 

Molly flushed up again. “Well, I thought… sometimes… he certainly seemed awfully fond of you... but I didn’t want to assume.”

Remus felt something warm unfurl in his stomach as though he’d just taken a sip of hot tea. To think that other people had seen Sirius looking at him back then and thought he must be in love with Remus… He hadn’t been very self-assured back then, finding it hard to believe at times that Sirius was sincerely interested in him, no matter how plain he had made it.

He felt fiercely appreciative of their second chance.

“In any case,” Molly said, cutting up the last sandwich and turning towards Remus. “I am very pleased for you. And it does explain why Sirius has been in a rather good mood lately. You seem to have a positive impact on him.”

Remus lowered his head with a smile. “Ta, Molly. The effect is mutual.”

He busied himself with removing the tea bags and had just finished when there were footsteps on the stone stairs.

They both turned around to find Sirius hovering awkwardly on the threshold.

It was clear that he had been hoping to come upon a full table of people. Molly and he had been tiptoeing around each other ever since their argument.

“Morning,” Sirius said, a moment late. 

“Good morning,” Molly responded, a tad too politely. 

Remus bit his lip.

“Well.” Molly said, her gaze flitting conspicuously between them. “You two help yourselves to breakfast, I’ll just go and wake the kids… really, they should’ve been up by now, we don’t have time to waste if we want to make it to the train in time…”

She kept muttering as she passed Sirius and plodded up the stairs.

Remus hid his smirk behind a cup of tea. Sirius’ expression was just too funny.

Then, taking pity, he set his cup down and held out his arms. 

“C’mere.”

Sirius trudged across the room. He was fully dressed and his hair looked shiny and a little damp.

He fitted himself in Remus’ arms and tilted his head up to receive his belated good morning kiss, now tasting pleasantly like mint. 

Remus allowed himself to deepen the kiss a little, sighing when Sirius tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth and ran his hands down his arms to intertwine their fingers. 

“Good morning!” said a bright voice, and they flinched apart like teenagers.

Ginny Weasley strolled into the kitchen, yawning and looking utterly unperturbed by the sight she had walked in on. 

“Is there tea?”

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh. Yes. Here -” 

He stepped aside to hand her a cup.

“Thanks, Remus!” 

Ginny took a seat at the table close to the fire where she was soon joined by Crookshanks. 

Next to Remus, Sirius relaxed and angled for a cup of tea himself. Meanwhile Remus gathered some more slices of bread to toast, and Sirius put down his cup to summon a pan and some eggs.

For a few minutes the only sounds were the crackling of the fire, the sizzling of the eggs in the pan and Crookshanks' loud purring as Ginny scratched behind his ears. Then Remus set down plates on the table and Sirius floated the pan up to them, tipping eggs and toast onto each.

"Ta, Sirius." 

Ginny took a crunching bite before offering a bit of egg to Crookshanks.

Hermione came next, evidently following her cat.

“Morning, everyone. Have you seen Crookshanks? I’ve been trying to get him into his carrier but he keeps escaping…”

Her eyes fell on the table where Sirius had linked his little finger with Remus’ as they ate, his left-handedness rather convenient. After a moment, she gave Remus a small smile which he mirrored.

“He’s over here. Have you tried bribing him with treats?” Sirius suggested. “That always worked for me.”

Ginny and Remus laughed, but Hermione’s face lit up. 

“Great idea!”

She looked around and spotted the ham next to the sandwiches on the counter. 

As she moved to grab a few pieces of ham for Crookshanks, Remus lifted Sirius’ hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles.

Sirius looked at him, eyebrows raised, but Remus only shook his head and smiled.

Maybe this time around they wouldn’t have to hide.

**Author's Note:**

> please take note that it may not generally be advisable to make someone talk about what triggered their flashback to a traumatic moment. in this case, remus did not know he was making sirius bring up james' death; he only assumed he was worried about losing harry. also they know each other fairly well at this point, including each other's responses to trauma, as i have hopefully managed to show. in the end, it was good for them to talk about that night as they had never had the chance to do so before.  
> but as remus learns in this fic - don't just go around touching or hugging people mid panic/anxiety/ptsd attack unless they've established that's what they need at that moment! respect their boundaries and don't interpret it as personal rejection.  
> and now i'll leave you with another richard siken quote. thank you for reading!
> 
> This is one love. There are many loves but only one war.  
> \- Richard Siken, War of the Foxes


End file.
